Showing posts from December, 2011

False Sense

Open my legs to a false sense of love
To allow myself that moment of pleasure that would last me only for a little while
Senseless thinking led me into the possibility of having him in a more permanent way
But deeply knowing I'd be the one settling for something I naturally knew I didn't need
Or rather yet, something I knew I didn't ultimately desire, not with him
Not for the long time I wanted to spend my life and be happy with

Open my legs to a false sense of love
Thinking it and he would be something I could ultimately change because I wanted him
I wanted him to be for me knowing he wasn't, I still ignored all the obvious things
That would initially tell me to walk away
I wanted to be happy and I knew I was good enough for that
That was something anyone deserved... To be happy

Having him leave my body, I crawled into the smallest uncomfortable corner
Because after all, the love was false and my legs had remained open to that
Stupid me, so emotionally drained now from not having…

The Return for Heart's Sake

It's been a while now since I've expressed myself into words
Struggled with finding the right combination of nouns, verbs, pauses and phrases
To give myself to you, my dear reader during what became the most
exhilarating, disheartening, happy yet fear filled, tear filled growing experience of my life
My thoughts became muddy with uncertainty in how to translate what I wanted to say
But here I am coming to you again, coming back to what I knew best
Listening to myself, listening to the words, gathering emotions from my experience
And returning here, to this "bed, blanket and pillow" to conguer this thoughts
Work my way through the muck, the tears and happy moments that reside somewhere close
So here it is, the return of those words we read together and over again
To help gather and retain a bit of understanding and clarification
For heart sake's sake