Before Bedtime

Eyes get heavy
Thoughts of you clutter my mind
Promise myself to bring myself to level ground
Can't tell you all of my thoughts
Some have to remain safe
I would like not to get hurt
Limbs become numb
Stretch and the needles move along the way
Stomach feels empty
It's almost midnight
In some sense, it is normal
What happens next with us
Backing off
Providing you with an adequate amount of space
Expectations of anything
Have left my mind for right now
I think, I think
No
Those thoughts still protrude
Too frequently perhaps
Have an early morning
Have a long day
Those ecru colored sheets and the
Caramel cinnamon coffee latte tinged comforter
Whisper my name
As I gaze at it
Numbness has departed
What to do with you
What will happen when I see you
Unspoken words I know you carry
Yet you fail to express
Glass of ice-cold water would be refreshing
No energy to travel nineteen steps
Stomach is talking aloud
I ate good...
A few hours ago
I should be asleep by now
I look at my phone thinking what if you call
Would I be awake or would it be missed
Would you maybe leave me your voice
So I could listen to it as soon as I woke up
Forget the what-ifs or the scenarios
That I like to perform
Either you will or you won't
Thoughts of you flood my mind
I would like to drown
Drown my face into a soft, caressing, fluffy pillow
He knows how I sleep and whats good for me
The pillow that is
I painted my toes today
Alarm will sound soon
Finally...
I'm with the only thing that won't let me down
The only thing that keeps my body warm
Curl up like a fetus in a womb
I am so tired
I close my heavy eyes
Make my way into the most comfortable position
As your face travels through my mind
Allow myself to doze off to Sade's Punch Drunk
My mind escapes to this zen atmosphere
Japanese cherry blossoms bloom over me
Clouds then take me away
And then I go
I go
I go
I go